Intellectual Bohemian

I was raised within a Catholic family, went to Church where I was an altar server and went to an all boy Jesuit High School. After my A’ levels I got into university through clearing and went to King’s College London to study Theology.

It was during the Christmas of my first year at King’s when I had my first major experience. I was on holiday with my parents in India and we were staying with a friend’s family in Delhi. Whilst there the elderly father of the family asked to speak to me alone. It turned out that he was having problems and questions about his faith and as he was seriously ill this troubled him. I was able to ease his fears and answer his questions as best I could; we both took a lot of heart and meaning from this.

Later in the holiday, while visiting my grandparents in Goa I had a major asthma attack. The attack was made all the worse by the fact that it took along time to get medical assistance. The attack was so serious that I almost didn’t make it and for a while it looked like I wouldn’t pull through. It was during one of these moments that I received a vision of Jesus. After this I regained consciousness and stopped getting worse.

I was hospitalised and bed bound following the attack and it was doubtful whether I would be fit to fly. In the end after receiving another few visions and experiences during prayer I was able to make it all the way home without oxygen, much to the amazement of several doctors.

A few days after arriving home I received a letter from the elderly gentleman I had spoken to in Delhi. The letter thanked me for my help and told me that the talk had helped him find peace and stillness. This brought me great joy as I found out that soon after writing the letter, but before it arrived to me, the elderly man had passed away.

I made my recovery back in London over a period of several months and was able to combine it with catch up work for my first year of my degree. With lots of hard work I passed the first year and was accepted onto the second.

My asthma stayed clear for the summer but began too worsen as soon as the second year started. It was decided by my doctors that this was probably due to the pollution in central London, which is where King’s is located. The doctors suggested transferring universities to somewhere where pollution isn’t a problem. When I spoke to King’s about it they were doubtful that this would be possible as we were already two weeks into term and that King’s was one of the last universities to start back. They suggested trying the equivalent universities but that I would probably need to take a year out and start somewhere new the following academic year. They gave me a list of universities to try and wished me luck.

The first one on the list was Durham. I phoned up and explained the situation to the Head of Department, who expressed his surprise at my call as ten minutes prior to my call a different pupil had come to see him to drop out of the course. He had been worried about how to fill this gap. He invited me up to interview the next day and I moved into halls the following Saturday. It was at the time a great stroke of fortune, which after time and other incidents seems even more like fate.

On my first night in halls I met lots of new people, one of those stayed up half the night talking to me. It turned out that she was down for the weekend from university in Aberdeen to visit her friend whose room was next to mine in halls. We got talking, then kept in touch by email, text and phone, and two and a half years later we married.

My first year at Durham, the second year of my degree, included numerous spiritual events. Some of these events involved a friend from halls who was a Wicca, and evil spirits, but as before my faith was strong and I was protected by the Holy Spirit from all harm. My faith emerged all the stronger from these things and my personal theology was forced to develop to include these events.

Also during that year whilst praying with a friend for them to be healed they were. It was a small arthritic complaint, but nonetheless they were helped through prayer. A number of other times since then either friends, family or myself have received help and healing whilst I have been praying for them.

I must state at this point that I am not healing people. I merely feel that to pray for them at that time would be the right thing and then God does the rest. I can usually feel and sense the power and healing taking place. The overwhelming sense of awe and wonder at this usually leaves me feeling drained, yet ecstatic afterwards. I must also state at this point that there have been times when I have really prayed and wanted people to be healed or receive help and nothing has happened for them at that point. But the times when this is the case always coincide with me being the one to initiate the prayer or asking for healing, rather than receiving the urge to pray for them.

After that year the spiritual events seemed to fade away, almost as if the need for them was not there as much any more. I graduated from Durham with a 2:1, and moved down to London. There I spent a year working in a bank whilst I got married to Hazel. At the end of that year I signed on to do a PGCE in Religious Education at St Mary’s College, Strawberry Hill. I passed the course and have just finished my first year of teaching R.E. at a Catholic High School for Boys in London, where I am also responsible for organising the school liturgies and masses.

Part of the way through my PGCE Hazel’s depression started to deteriorate. The doctors tried out new drugs and this seemed to help. Last summer before I started teaching we went back to Durham for a break. Whilst there we both had a religious experience whilst attending Mass at the church I used to go to. It was like a warm feeling of “welcome back”. It was truly uplifting and at the time we took it to mean that we were meant to move back to Durham. We still hold this belief but now acknowledge that that move may well be in the future somewhat.

This is because soon after we returned from Durham Hazel started to get sick. It was like her depression intensified combined with severe fatigue and joint pains. It took a while but the doctors now think that her depression and other ailments are all connected. She has been off work for 18 months now, and it could well be a condition with always be with her to some extent.

During this time of illness there have been numerous times when I have wanted to heal her and make her better, but as before when I initiate these things they do not work. There have been a few occasions when both of us were really stretched and our spirits were low that I received the urge to pray and help. In these occasions it has been like a dark or black cloak is lifted from both our hearts and minds, and where we thought we couldn’t cope any longer it now feels doable. I take this to mean that whilst Jesus could heal us physically, at this point in time it is not for the best for Him to do so. So because He knows what we are going through and because He loves each of us, He does what he can, He helps heal our damaged or tired spirits.

That us pretty much up to date. I hope to use the blog itself as a way of recording and reflecting on future occurrences. If you have any questions or comments please feel free to leave them as they are most welcome.